Chatting to someone on IG who was complaining that she keeps overeating cake, cookies, ice-cream, chocolate and was mad at herself for not being able to stick to the plan she was on.
The plan she followed allowed certain amounts of all this stuff but time after time she would eat more than what was allowed, get mad at herself for doing it, not reach her weight loss goals, feel down and depressed, vow to stick with it this time and found herself back at square one, mad at herself again for doing it again and again.
Is this déjà vu or just my imagination? Her experience mirrored mine exactly.
I asked her if she thought she might be addicted to sugar like I am, because when I leave out that type of food, I don’t have a problem.
Her response, “ But I don’t want to eat that way.”
So recognising her as a blocked, resistant person, I said something positive and moved along.
They are not ready to change; I get it.
Some people just like to continue to writhe in their discontent, others can’t see the answer to all their problems even when it smacks them in the face and some are completely blocked by their past beliefs, which are still their current beliefs until they change them.
That last point is interesting because unless we are aware, often we don’t even realise what we believe and certainly don’t realise that it’s holding us back.
I get it though because I was exactly the same too. I remember when I was in the midst of my Diet Coke addiction and the bartender at the place I worked said to me time and time again, “this stuff is really bad for you, you know?” And I just replied, “I know, may I have the big glass please?” Terrible! But I just didn’t get it at the time.
And so this girl doesn’t either.
I felt like saying, “eat like which way? The way that saved me from the overweight hell I was in for about 15 years? The way that enables me to eat as much as I want, whenever I want of my food and never have to go hungry again. The way that includes real cacao chocolate every day as well as other desserts and creamy, yummy food? The way where I never have to measure, weigh or portion-control my food ever again? The way where I never have to worry about binge eating, overeating or ever putting on weight again?”
“You don’t want to eat that way?”
“You would rather continue to eat everything and struggle every day with something that is clearly not working for you?”
What I actually see is someone who still believes something that either someone told them before or that they read about, maybe learned it at school, on the internet about ‘eat just a little bit of everything or everything in moderation’ and she still believes that and is trying to live her life that way. The only problem is that she can’t do the little bit part or the moderation part but she thinks she should because that’s what she believes. And so the struggle continues.
My progress with weight only happened when I threw all my beliefs out the window. I stopped eating meat because it felt better to me, even when everyone said I shouldn’t do it. I dropped grains for the same reason and sugar because it made me crazy. And people still question me about that all the time.
My friend Jenny in the US eats one meal a day (has little protein balls in the day if she feels like it) and it was the way she felt the most energetic, her weight reduced naturally to the level it was supposed to be and she is thriving. (Read her story here.) There was an outcry on social media when I told her story – “you can’t do that!” People were horrified.
And why? Because it doesn’t match what they believe. They have never tried it mind you because their beliefs block them from even being open enough to contemplate it. But what’s the fear? Why are we all so rigid and stuck? Surely if you try something and it doesn’t work, you can always go back to the way you did it before?
And isn’t it worth the chance to potentially get you out of the hole of misery that you are in and get you to everywhere you say you want to be?
“But I don’t want to do it that way.”
Of course not. You don’t want to find the way that suits you. You want to suffer a little more doing the same thing over and over that clearly doesn’t work for you.
Does this make any sense? Don’t do it to yourself. The answers are all around you; be brave enough to take a peek and take a chance. It just may be what changes your life.
(PS – just so you know here on our new www.slimbirdy.com website if you would like to comment, you don’t need to log in any more! Hooray! Just put in your first name and email address (only I can see the address) and I still have to approve the comment before it appears but at least it helps everyone who can never remember their password – like me! I think the ‘leave a reply’ link is at the top of the post. Drop in for a chat!)
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